Kami Enzie
In His Own Words
(After James Baldwin)
young most wicked strong
-willed near-death very handsome
little handsome contemptuous dressed
apprehensive broke stubborn
proud ingrown “like a toe-nail”
older african naked barbaric
indescribably cruel personal
most bitter buried tremendous
crushing very black black
beautiful proud bleak young
outrageously demanding protective
black fretful unabating knowing
almost unfailingly wrong big appalling
glad early other groping tentative
never-expressed buried new long
improbable in-less-and-less-demand
long intolerable frightened unquiet
ruined powerful overflowing
over-a-year bitter proudly pursed
rigid ill long fantastic new true
younger alive real older insulted
beyond-all-hope strange unimaginably
close odd unwilling clear hating
fearing despised “agreeing very much
against his will” very funny
too feeble surrounded all-night
great deal of trouble been cursed
vindictively polite theatrical theater
-going took-aside refused unanimous
active unbearably vocal important
very sweet generous “christian” explicit
older always trying clever never trusted
bitter waiting trusted genuine hidden
laid-off negro dreadful not-even-nice
little relatively close extraordinarily
ingenious working living unprecedented
unbelievable expected-to-behave
waiting notorious whispered shouted
believed mad afraid god-knows
“long turning over, day and night
with but one aim” fired-once
fired-again bounced dread
blind pounding wreck important
negro living surrendering saved
ironical called asked answering
failed sardonic moving crushing
glittering fashionable not-served
pushed frightened great astounded
frightened black frightening blunt
worthwhile derisive colder hoping
murderous poised forced frightened
shattered running grabbed kicked
whispered betrayed alone safe difficult
could-have-been-murdered
ready-to-commit-murder
black posed nagging long impossible
insane in-danger in-order inspiration
-to-all trouble planning real very lively
wondering conciliatory helpful
downtown slight drunk quiet very
very dark solemn quarreled bound
long shorter overwhelming uncontrollable
called successful presented thoughtful
patient forbearing disturbed guilty
ready grief-stricken confronted hoped
eulogized forgiven straying invested
moaning wringing hands slapped hungry
sullen distrustful watched growing
wilder running living despised
stronger raising-the-question fought
“thou knowest this man’s fall;
but thou knowest not his wrassling. . . .”
desperately celebrating negro
negro unprecedented flowing revealing
protecting negro different perfectly
corroborated countered powerful
satisfactory exhausting swelling
familiar suspected potent interested
waiting-to-hold hated hated
free-of-hatred-and-despair
from the beginning
FROM “NOTES OF A NATIVE SON”